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Next year I will be getting married. Hurrah! Although I have no intention to turn this blog into a live commentary of my wedding planning, I cannot resist telling few tales in the run up to the big day. I promise, I will limit myself, despite the fact that there are several ingredients for a long tale here. Let’s put the philosophical dispute between hats and fascinators on one side and let’s focus on the practical stuff.

With less than 6 months to go, we had to attend a course, one of many steps that will enable us to get lawfully married in the Catholic Church.

Choosing which course to attend was fairly easy, as we had two very stringent and simple criteria: as close as possible to our home and shamelessly. No compatibility test, astrological report  or one to one coaching required.

So we put on one side the idea of attending the (long) course at the beautiful church in Cadogan Gardens in Chelsea and opt for the local and really anonymous one in Pimlico. It looks like a school, not a church. Mom-Dad-2.5-kids-a-dog-and-a-white-picket-fence-Forget-it-says-Packaged-Facts-America-is-changing-and-food-marketers-need-to-catch-up_strict_xxl

Winter. Monday, 7 pm. The pre marriage course starts and the Lord and I report on time to the local church hall. We have some expectations: nothing life changing, all we want is to meet someone with more experience than us that tell us something like ‘you are heading in the right direction’.

50sUpon arrival, we were thrown in a massive room, with other 42 couples from every imaginable country. Mixed colours, religions and stories. Welcome to London, once again, in case we both forgot where we are. This diversity never fails to amaze me. If none of these couple has anything in common with us, they all look alike. A lot. Like a dog and its owner.

The Lord and I didn’t confess to each other a little dream – which will never be fulfilled: we were hoping to meet other couples very similar to us: William and Beatrice, Gaia and Jeremy. Imaginary friends, with stories, jobs and lives similar to ours. Clearly my fantasy runs too fast. We didn’t meet any of those similar couples. We didn’t even get close to it.

Now the course is over, we even got a certificate for it. Here are some conclusions:

One: Monday is a good day to make arrangements and attend courses. We were punctual and didn’t fail to attend each lesson.

Two: We managed to have fun, thanks to some sexist and out of date questions we had to answer. A couple of examples: Do you think that the wife should follow the husband during his career?

Do you think that men are better suited at managing finances?

Three: I do not give advise on how to fix your scooter’s muffler. Why does a priest feel the urge to tell us that performance under the bed sheets should last at least 15 minutes? Work in the City for the average 12/14 hours and we can talk again.


Two who didn’t attend any pre wedding course

Four: People do not have opinions and they do not share them. A lot of our “colleagues” haven’t discussed kids, finance, sex and education. It is a disturbing thought that people get married without sharing their views on pretty fundamental things. Apparently 50% of those will end up divorcing. Best of luck to all of them too.